Absolute Freedom
I was finally able to cry last Thursday during our Bible study. For years I had been nurturing a one sided relationship because I was led to do so. In obediece and submission to God, I loved and continued communication even when it fell on deaf ears, or in this case, an empty mailbox.
After the initial shock wore off, I felt peace, knowing I did what I should, even when I thought I probably made a fool of myself.
Death is not only physical. Death can also mean being permanently shut out from a person's life. The worst kind of death though is the absence of God in your life. More than the eternal flames of hell and the worms that do not die is the very concept of life without the Lord that makes death real. Imagine a day of cruelty and think of it in the perspective of eternity.
I loved this man so much that something in me literally died. I just knew that this time it is over and there is no turning back and no matter what else is said, it is not going to work. I thought for a while he was enjoying the attention and actually loved the new form of communication we had. He would post photos, I would appreciate, I would ask a question or two, he would answer in riddles and sunsets... Oh well, I was wrong to assume. The thing is I cannot undo what I have done. He shut himself away too, from the public's gaze.
I will mourn for many days. I know in time this too shall pass and I will be healed and be able to continue loving even when it is not reciprocated. There is freedom to love only when you also have freedom to be hurt. No freedom is absolute without the price of pain.
After the initial shock wore off, I felt peace, knowing I did what I should, even when I thought I probably made a fool of myself.
Death is not only physical. Death can also mean being permanently shut out from a person's life. The worst kind of death though is the absence of God in your life. More than the eternal flames of hell and the worms that do not die is the very concept of life without the Lord that makes death real. Imagine a day of cruelty and think of it in the perspective of eternity.
I loved this man so much that something in me literally died. I just knew that this time it is over and there is no turning back and no matter what else is said, it is not going to work. I thought for a while he was enjoying the attention and actually loved the new form of communication we had. He would post photos, I would appreciate, I would ask a question or two, he would answer in riddles and sunsets... Oh well, I was wrong to assume. The thing is I cannot undo what I have done. He shut himself away too, from the public's gaze.
I will mourn for many days. I know in time this too shall pass and I will be healed and be able to continue loving even when it is not reciprocated. There is freedom to love only when you also have freedom to be hurt. No freedom is absolute without the price of pain.
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