pagpasiplat

I am at a point in my life that a major change is necessary in order to move forward. I have led a sheltered life and have lived most of my life with my parents or relatives. There were times when the world seemed like an endless labyrinth of ups and downs.

I was always running away when things were too much for me to handle. But it wasn't always that way of course, I had my moments of bliss and momentary madness.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." I read this in Reader's Digest a long time ago. I used to love collecting quotes and some of them I can still remember vividly.

Like most normal people, I have made many mistakes and sometimes feel that I have not been making any progress in my journey in life.

The truth is our walk with Christ may actually feel that we are making only one step and slipping too many steps back. There is an irony about growing in the love and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. The more we know Him, the more trials and tribulations seem to abound. The longer we stay in His presence, the more we realize how little we know of our infinite God. God's grace enables us to move forward, even if it feels that we are where we were before, or worse, we are behind.

Do you sometimes feel that way too? Don't be discouraged. We may seem a little behind in schedule, but the good news is that we are making steady progress. It is not the speed or length of the journey, but the beauty and majesty of living for Jesus - that is truly important.

Though the road is long and empty, we are never alone...

We all want interesting lives. Who wants to live a dull life full of monotony anyway? We want to meet interesting people, go to new and interesting places and share our interesting experiences with people who matter to us.

How often do we go from one place to another in pursuit of greener pastures? Don't we all want to go where no one has gone? or perhaps trudge on paths unchartered to make meaning of meaningless lives?

It's not the destination but the journey that truly matters. Getting there is the meat of it all. Life is not a matter of achievements and successes - it is meeting people, sharing dreams, making this place a better one than we first found it.

We each have things that drive us, to be the best we can be. There are issues greater than simply getting what we want. Are we aware that others are in worse shape than yesterday and there is no one to comfort them? We are all blessed to be a blessing. It's a matter of attitude. We only become the person we can become when we stop thinking of ourselves as the be all and end all of a person's existence. Real living happens when we look to God first, help others in whatever way we can and give the glory to God alone.

My sister in law is encouraging me to have a lovelife. In response, I told her I am always in love! Technically speaking though, I remain unattached, not by mere circumstance, but more because of choice. As the song goes: "When I fall in love, it will be forever, or I'll never fall in love..." Unfortunately, I thought I had been in love before, only to wake up and find the infatuation a pain rather than a joy to cherish.

If I could love the way God loves, I'd probably be settled by now. However, volatile and passionate as I am, I usually rush off, cutting the relationship or simply running away for fear that the closeness will bring me more harm than good. Besides, I've had my share of selfish men who wanted nothing but to please themselves.

I'm still waiting for my Prince Charming to come and free me from the tower of achievements and people pleasing. Until now, I still fall into the trap of performance and accomplishments to make my parents proud of me. It gets tiring and quite lonely, most of the time.

My only consolation is it is still my choice afterall... Ultimately, I would still love to settle down, have a place of our own and have children. That would be a lovely thing.