pagpasiplat

I attended our 20th batch reunion on December 29, 2006. It was a night to remember. People were more than a little kind and sentimental. Some still looked the same, others aged a bit and still others were a bit unrecognizable because of the bulges and some transformations due to aging and fat.

The good thing about reunions is that you get in touch with a past that may have been a turning point in your life. Others decided not to go for fear of rejection or perhaps jest from batchmates who refuse to grow up. Others have families and could not just leave because they are now residing in a different country. For others, it is a good time to boast of achievements or simply gloat on others achievements.

For me, it was a time to be reacquainted with people I grew up with. I enjoyed my high school life a lot. Maybe too much. It was truly one of the best years of my life.

I do see my close friends in high school every now and then, so the reunion was actually more for the ones I do not see often.

All in all, it was a night of reminiscing and getting in touch with oneself and the reality that indeed we have grown up but remain to be young at heart. The usual teasing and fun was still there. Old pairs were still a good story and recent updates were something to look forward to.

I am glad to have met old friends and forged new ones from old acquaintances. Indeed life is a journey and the real thrill is not getting to the destination but the daily blessings that come our way

It's raining, and I have cried many tears again. I know it's silly to feel sad when the weather is such, but I can't help but feel a little depressed when there's a storm. Most unfortunate events happen during such instances and I must confess, some of my nightmares happened at such occasions.

It's comforting to know that in spite of this, God's love keeps me secure. I have much to be grateful for.

Last night was one of those days when the weather and what I was feeling was cooperating... I mean the tears kept falling and the cold weather was not helping me feel better. I am afraid of being left alone for prolonged periods of time. Depression usually sets in on those times and things I have forgotten have a tendency to suddenly resurface and leave a horrible feeling inside. This happens very rarely and the nightmares have been very few and far between now.

I remember when I was a child, my mother would instantly know that something is wrong and something very unusual happened during the day when I have nightmares. She would then scold my brothers and ask them what they did to me when they were out that would make me scream and cry out in tears during the night.

Usually a game of boxing with my two older brothers would naturally leave me with a nasty blow in the head, or arms...or whereever I am hit.

I don't recall details (thank God!) but there were other things that have happened that had given me a reason to scream and cry at night (when everyone is asleep and I can't seem to forget what has happened to me).

A few years ago, I attended the Ancient Path Sessions in Bacolod. It is a Family Ministry seminar workshop that helps one remember things in the past they may have forgotten, to help in the healing process. It usually unlocks barriers to wholeness and healing and helps people move on by forgiving people who have hurt or continue to hurt you.

It's a really helpful experience for me to be able to identify the root cause of my hurts and understand myself better. I now know that I react in certain ways because of the pattern of thoughts and emotions that I have used to cope with stress, fear, and issues of abandonment.

Understanding the past truly helps us with future decisions. It's one way to avoid making the same mistakes again.

My friend, who is a photographer is very creative in expressing himself. He has now managed to communicate via pictures and "words of wisdom."

It's a great pleasure to be able to say things without actually talking and writing. It makes one think of saying I love you and want to be with you forever in poetry and natures natural wonders! God's love is written in creation, signed by the rainbow we see after the rain!

Say it with flowers...=)

I was on the verge of tears as I browsed a friend's friendster and read his blog. I felt so isolated, so far from him...

Then I was reminded that the Lord is in control and really, my fears and doubts are baseless. There is really nothing to worry about and things are happening for a purpose.

I was hoping to be with my special friend for the holidays, but because I failed to arrange my schedule and set priorities, I missed that opportunity. I guess when a life is at stake, all other things blurr and mean nothing at that moment. I panicked, thinking my cousin was never going to recover this time. I hardly had time to breathe and I was in Manila, on a Saturday rush hour, waiting for the cab to take me to my cousin's house. We celebrated her birthday, probably her last... She was already upstairs when I got there, but she showed up for a while, just to say hi!=)

I know it's not too late. We'll probably see each other sometime soon. God's timing is perfect. With that, I have peace, even amidst confusing and conflicting thoughts.